so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
