i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
