Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
