I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
