let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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