how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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