Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
