I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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