You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
