Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize