I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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