i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
