If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
