and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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