i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
