Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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