Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
