Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
