Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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