K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
So much rum. So many feels.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
