we have officially mastered the walk of shame
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
