do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize