its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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