So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
how do you play pong handcuffed?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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