I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
