Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize