I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize