This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
