Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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