Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
and she was petting her beer can
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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