when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
