Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
