if i can run in heels then i can drive
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
