I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
