She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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