is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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