theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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