We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I've blown a few things in my day
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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