all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
