i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
