I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
