also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
