I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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