Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
