Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
