It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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