One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I have tasted many bathrooms
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
