What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
