she woke up with a sticky ear
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
