Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
