I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
