You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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