The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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