its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
