Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
