guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
