Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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