wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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