I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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