Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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