oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
